R.I.P

I tried to re-tune my ukulele earlier, it was making this awful, droning sound, the sort of noise a thousand cursed souls would make when banished to the realms of hell. Anyway, I left it up in my room and popped downstairs because the kettle had boiled, when I returned to play some crazy Hawaiian, low fidelity riffs and all the strings had split and I found the bridge half-way across the room :( I’m inconsolable.

ERGH

I'm sick to death of people getting the wrong impression about college, it is nothing like Skins. It's not all Sex, Drugs, Rock & Rave. Do not get the wrong impression, you do actually have to learn stuff and there aren't drastic plots involving the twist and turns of teenage hormones. I bloody love college, me. On a lighter note, I'm seeing Gallows on Friday, rock on.

Is Hell endothermic or exothermic? Support you answer with a proof.

First, we postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant. There are two possible conditions. One, if hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate t which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase exponentially until all hell breaks loose. Conversely, if hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, than the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over, condition two.
We can solve this with the 1990 postulation of Theresa LeClair, the girl who lived across the hall from me in first year residence. Since I have still not been successful in obtaining sexual relations with her, condition two above has not been met, and thus it can be concluded that condition one is true, and hell is exothermic.

The Cribsss

The venue, the Oxford Carling Academy, was on a high street so the fat arsed tour buses had to park on the side of the road. The Ting Tings came on first, opening with 'Great DJ', which I'm sure will be played to death on Radio 1 over the next month. They played a good set and got the crowd going, even if they used a sampler for bass and keys for half of their songs – the kids at the front made a bit of a school disco out of it really.
Next on was Does It Offend You, Yeah? Who played for a hectic half an hour, started the first pits of the night and rolled through juicy tunes like 'Lets Make Out' and 'We Are Rockstars' – they were better than when I saw 'em last year and I'd be well up for seeing them again sometime soon.
About half an hour later, Joe Lean and the – lets play the same chord over and over again, but really, really fast – Jing Jang Jong came on and played their instrumental opener 'Tougher Terrible', which was packed with sharp riffs and banging drums, probably their best tune because their front man doesn't actually sing in it. That said, Joe Lean was absolutely wankered, and the Jing Jang Jong did a good job tolerating is stupid dancing and huffing and puffing. 'Lucio Starts Fires' probably got the biggest reaction from the crowd – Indies wanting to be Joe Lean, and the Cindys wanting to be in him.
At this point I was absolutely buzzing with excitement, I turned round and found myself stood a few metres away from crazy, crazy Kate Nash, she came into the crowd to watch her BF play but got hounded by her adoring fans so departed backstage. The Cribs finally took to the stage, signalling cheers with their pints and ripped into 'Don't You Want To Be Relevant?' closely followed by 'Our Bovine Public'. Ryan then told a story of how the last time they came to play in Oxford he managed to scar himself, then carried on playing consecutive crowd favourites like 'Mirror Kissers' and 'Men's Needs'; after 'The Wrong Way To Be' he jumped into the crowd, I knew he would do it so I was prepared, this didn't stop him landing right on top of me. After chaotic outro to the same tune, red lights flashed on the stage and Gary introduced the legend Johnny Marr onto the stage and did a quality rendition of The Smiths classic 'Panic', he then helped them out on 'Moving Pictures' and 'I'm A Realist', the later of which I crowd-surfed to - which was bloody epic coz it was like 'AND YOU DREAM THAT'S THE SAME THING, THAT'S THE SAME LIFE YOU LEAD!!!!!!!!! OMG IM CROWD SURFING, SHIT BETTER HOLD MY PHONE, OMG JOHNNY MARR WTF ITS DA CRIBS WOAAAAAAAH STROBE LIGHTS!'…yeah. And then they played 'Be Safe', a projected video of Lee Ranaldo from Sonic Youth came up and he spoke his spoken-word piece of the tune – an epic ending to an epic set.
P.S Merry Christmas Josh
P.P.S The Cribs are better than The Pigeons

The Cribs played:

Don't You Wanna Be Relevant
Our Bovine Public
Hey Scenesters
Baby Don't Sweat
Girls Like Mystery
I've Tried Everything
Mirror Kissers
Woman's Needs
We Can No Longer Cheat You
Another Number
Men's Needs
Ancient History
The Wrong Way To Be
Panic w/ Johnny Marr
Moving Pictures w/ Johnny Marr
I'm A Realist w/ Johnny Marr

Be Safe w/ Johnny Marr & Lee Ranaldo

Lightning doesn't strike twice

But gigs in London do! Justice last night was bloody epic, immense set with like the huge glowing cross and everything; D.A.N.C.E, DVNO, Genesis, Phantom, etc. Superrrrb - best of all was when they did a mash up of We Are Your Friends and Atlantis to Interzone by Klaxxxons! I met one of the chaps from The Teenagers again and I also had a little shindig with one of the lads from Late of the Pier who were also supporting, they were also top draw, definitely see them live again.

Plans for Sunday;;;
- Work 9-4
- Drive up to Oxford w/Josh and Greg
- Go and see The Cribs, Joe Lean and the Jing Jang Jong, Does It Offend You, Yeah? and The Ting Tings @ Oxford Carling Academy
- Crash round Josh's brothers house in Oxford
Sorted xxxxxxxx

Up The Shambles!

Babyshambles @ Brixton Academy - 11th February 08

The Courteeners played an absolute blinding set as support, Acrylic and Cavorting went down an absolute treat with the crowed.

We were surrounded by a load of mods and skinheads, very 'Facking West Ham!', and 'Facking Cup o' Tea!. Still, we all sung a rendition of Time For Heroes and Up The Bracket for a laugh. Shambles finally came on about 40 minutes after The Courteeners, and played 'Up The Morning' followed by 'Delivery', people were being crushed in the crowd so security told Pete to tell us that we had to calm down or they'd have to leave - we didn't need telling twice. They played a shed load of songs from both albums and The Blinding EP, their encore was immense, in Albion, Pete named-checked the Hawley Arms in Camden and ended up throwing the mic into the crowd so everyone could rep their ends. Drew was immense on bass and Pete was sober, which was a huge suprise for me, after reading reviews and interviews of him for ages about him being a junkie and slurring, etc. I got a total different perception of him.
Babyshambles played:
'Carry On Up The Morning'
'Delivery'
'Beg, Steal Or Borrow'
'Baddie's Boogie'
'UnStookie Titled'
'Side Of The Road'
'UnBilotitled'
'The Blinding'
'You Talk'
'There She Goes'
'Sedative'
'Pipedown'
'I Wish'
'Back From The Dead'

'Killamangiro'
'Albion'
'Pretty Sue'
'Fuck Forever'

QUIET HRTBEATS

i forget how good Foals are sometimes, here is when i saw them @@@ underage festival - good times had by all, pros and cons of this week:
+ curry friday night, got served for the first time ever.
- being pulled over by the meat wagon and the boys in blue.
+ being let go after explaining i want to be a policeman when im older.
+ lying to a policeman
- coursework deadlines
+ downloaded sweeney todd
- didn't like sweeney todd
+ totally excited about babyshambles, justice and foals.
+ half term round the corner

xxxx

The perks of Friday evenings

Waking up the next morning and realising you don't have work, rolling around on a bedroom floor looking for your phone - struggling to put your shoes on by the doorstep, smelling your Fred Perry garments and the pungent fragrance of smoke, curry and booze hitting your sinuses like a hammer. Staggering down Long Cross Lane with the crisp morning air dampening your headache as melodic tunes play through the headphones hanging over your collar, Mr. Turner whispering words in your ear, making you smile as the morning joggers run past. Absolute bliss.

Recommendation of the week!

Vampire Weekend, they are like The Strokes mixed with some crazy African Drums and its nice and relaxing and has funny lyrics about Oxford Uni

http://www.myspace.com/vampireweekend

xx

Drugs Drugs Drugs

Drugs Drugs Drugs, College talks about drugs, drugs drugs drugs, don't do this, don't do that. We get it. But that's not going to stop people.
I'm going to give up Subways for lent, because, to me, Sub of the Day is a drug to me
xxxx

Also

What is all this about 3 American headliners at Reading this year? We need a Brit band on that stage damnit. It's obviously not going to be Arctic Monkeys now, but even so I think a Mr. Melvyn Benn is bluffing: Kasabian, Foo Fighters and Rage, thats what I reckon! w/Babyshambles, Queens of the Stone Age, Dirty Pretty Things and Biffy up on the main stage somewhere aswell.
I'm also contemplating buying a Ukulele, just for the novelty of learning fun covers of stuffff

Pinch, Punch, First Day of the Month!

And thank god for that, February is going to be immense - 4 different gigs to go to: Babyshambles, Justice, The Cribs and Gallows.
I'm sick to death of tabloid newspapers, I don't care about celebrities and no-one else should. God Bless The Independent
xx