Heart of stone

Bloc Party played at the Brazilian MTV Music Awards the other week, but unknown to them they had to mime, so, they milked it - watch the video here.

and yes I've only just managed to work out html, whatever.

I've finally applied for university-ish, so now we play the waiting game xx

Ex-Parrot

The origins of the Monty Python 'Dead Parrot' sketch have been found in an Ancient Greek joke book dated back to the 4th Century. The joke within Philogelos: The Laugh Addict talks of a man who complains that his slave has died, the e-book can be found here:

http://publishing.yudu.com/Library/Au7bv/PhilogelosTheLaughAd/resources/index.htm?referrerUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.co.uk%2Fsearch%3Fhl%3Den%26q%3DPhilogelos%253A%2BThe%2BLaugh%2BAddict%26meta%3D

I was reading some of them earlier, I never realised the Greeks were so funny.

In other news, many Southern Americans have entered a buying frenzy of guns, why, because they are afraid that well known Commy Barack Obama is going to make rid of the 2nd Amendment, i.e. the right to keep and bare arms. I'm not in a funny mood so I can't make a joke about it, but maybe Philogelos or the Pythons had something funny to say about it xx

Can you smell what Barack is cooking?

I've sussed out my pattern of entries over the past few month, and i'm only tending to post stuff when i'm procrastinating, what am I supposed to be doing now?


Anyway it's Election Day so all you crazy American cats over the pond need to go out and vote for Obama. It's very inspiring (is that the word i'm looking for?) that so many people have rushed out to their local libraries to vote, it's a shame we don't get that over here. I was watching Loose Women earlier, don't ask me why (i'm ill and i love daytime tv), and they were talking about voting on there, and the clutsy brunette that throws inneundo around CONSTANTLY said 'I vote every saturday, on the X-Factor'. Oh haha. So this started a debate because she was like i've never voted blah blah no one appeals to me politicians are scumbags, apart from David Cameron mmm yuum ETC. And i was just sat there in disbelief, Emmeline Pankhurst must be turning over in her grave.

Pros and Cons of the past however-long-it's-been:
- Mind-numbing coursework

Lethargic

I realise I haven't posted a blog on here in god knows how long so I thought I'd satisfy your appetite - I say 'your', I don't even know if anyone reads this nonsense. So what have I been up to?

+ MY GUITAR ARRIVED AND IT'S BEAUTIFUL
+ went to see Foals on sunday night for like the 5th time, really really good, they've improved over the past year and have a more 'wholesome' sound
- college coursework, started writing my English Literature essay comparing the most depressing book ever and the most liberating/shallow book ever.
+ poetry day was last week and i got loads of free books which was cool
-/+ went to Oxford Brookes uni at the weekend, loads of posh toffs/nazis in A&F, and the teachers - I've never known someone so dull talk to much. But it's a really nice city so it's still on my list.
+ Portsmouth uni tommorow and Brighton uni this weekend yayayayay
+ Re-kindled my love for The Kinks

and thats all I can think of at the moment, I'll probably post another one in half an hour to write something else - but at the moment I'm sat on the sofa watching some lame documentary on Monté and Impressionism = joy

ciao xx

The Madagascar Plan

I was surfing wikipedia earlier, neglecting my coursework, and in my procrastinating state stumbled across The Madagascar Plan - a hyperlink from 'the Holocaust', don't ask me why I was looking at that but be safe in the knowledge I h8 the BNP, etc...
The Madagascar Plan was a suggested idea by the Nazis, prior to the Final Solution, to evacuate all of the Jews out of Europe over to Madagascar and essentially create a 'super ghetto'. This was with the use of the Royal Navy's fleet of ships after the Nazis won the Battle of Britain, and going to be funded by freezing the assets of all European Jews. They planned to cover the whole thing up by pretending to give the Jews an automony and the authority to rule their own state (under the higher rule of the Nazis. What a ridiculous idea!

I love wikipedia x

Personal Statement - an extract

I’m not an individual, neither am I a competent worker that strives to learn, in fact you’d be doing yourself a favour in throwing this personal statement in the nearest waste-paper basket, or turning this placid document into something constructive like a paper aeroplane.

x

Oh my brothers

I swear it's impossible to find a review of A Clockwork Orange without the critic using that ridiculous language that plagues its pages. It's an absolute insult to the English language and yet the wordplay is quite clever. Anyway so it's Sunday evening and I'm tired, I may post a lengthy blog in the week, I may not.

p.s. Apparently I look like Dylan Moran from Black Books et al.
xx

p.s

Little Britain USA looks hilarious, but I'm not suprised that it got panned in the States - they don't get our humour, especially when we take the piss out of them xx

I love the

10 o'clock news, it's so gritty and no-holds-barred. It's like the 17 year-old crack-addicted, slut sister to the 6 o'clock news. But something we can't shy away from is the credit crunch, we also cannot shy away from how much of a moron George W. Bush is, this is him talking of the big ole' $700bn wall-street rescue plan - and I quote: "the proposal is big and the reason it's big is because it's a big problem".
Don't take anything of what I say seriously but I think its easy to place the blame of the credit crunch et al on the high gloss politicians, cos really its the fault of the banks giving out huge loans to people who cannot pay it back etc. etc. I won't delve into it, its quarter to eleven on a friday night and I really could go into this in greater detail but I wont - essentially Brown may have made a dogs dinner out of things but it isn't his fault, so shut up Daily Mail, Diana is dead and Labour are in power: get-the-fuck-over-it.

Also, its quite interesting to consider that the Daily Mail go on and on and on about BROKEN BRITAIN and whine and complain about how everything is horrible and how everything was soo much better in the 80's (god bless Thatcher), and lets face it, the Daily Mail is the sleazy 17 year-old slut sister to the Telegraph anyway, BUT what happens if the Tories get into power? What will they complain about? Nout, it would do us all a favour.

Anyway, like I said I won't delve into politics, for I don't like taking sides, and I certainly hate taking stuff seriously, and now it's ten minutes to eleven on a friday night so instead I shall talk about my week:

+ got paid today yay
+ ordered my guitar today yay
+ finished my english lit essay earlier yay
- probably isn't the best essay i've ever written boo
+ went out for a drink after college today yay
+ been listening to Kings of Leon all week yay
+ watching this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EhBdPEaNj-g /it shows the last song on the album, Cold Desert, in a totally different light, basically Caleb was pissed off his rocker when they recorded it and doesn't remember singing the song at all, which makes the lyrics and the song itself that more poignant - listen and learn.
+ sorting out universities, definitive list is: Brighton, Norwich and Oxford Brookes, (Southampton and Portsmouth to make up the numbers).
+ party tommorow
- work sunday
+ prospect of leaving asda and working at waterstones
+ yay free books
- college library sending me a shitty email about how a few books are overdue
+ my english lit teacher lending me excuses to use when i hand them back in
- coursework being set
+ lay in tommorow morning

night night world xxx

Only By The Night

The new Kings of Leon album is incredible, it's not like their old garage rock material, proper epic stadium anthems. The album title comes from an Edgar Allan Poe quote: ''They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night.'', and I certainly think the record reflects this. I listened to it for the first time round Josh's house (probably the biggest KOL fan ever), and it was a very emotional experience over Star Wars and cups of tea.
I'd post a song on here or something but 1. I don't know how, and 2. You should buy 2008's best record instead of downloading it off a blog.

xx

Hidden Gems

I was walking into town from college earlier and it started to rain, so I sought refuge in the a charity shop on Woke Street, while I was in there I thought I'd have a gander at the books they had, low and behold I found some right gems:

• To Define True Madness by Henry Yellowlees;
• Poetry Collection by John Donne;
• Dubliners by James Joyce, and
• De Profundis by Oscar Wilde

The latter being a particularly exquisite read because it is Wilde's last published prose, and is literally a diary/letter containing his feelings and emotions while incarcerated in (I think) Reading prison. So the prospect of being able to pick the mind of, lets face it, one of the greatest English authors of all time this weekend is quite exciting (sad I know). I don't particularly like much of John Donne's but it was only 50p, and the amount due for the 4 books altogether was a fiver so it's happy days really.

xx

yeah

...I lost the bet

Sober September

I agreed to some ridiculous bet with Dean after Reading Festival that I could stay sober for a whole month and I'm kind of regretting it, but oh well I shall win and I guess I'll be the better man*? So instead I've developed an addiction to coffee, not lets-go-to-starbucks-and-have-a-skinny-latte coffee, but espresso black americano, no-sugar, no-milk coffee.

*I'm a mere shadow of a man really.

xx

Stinking Student Lame-o

So I've finally got stuck into my quest to extend my Stinking Student Lame-o status. Yes thats right, I'll be robbing you all of your taxes for another 3 years if I have it my way. I've narrowed my options down to UEA (Norwich), Portsmouth, Kent (Cantebury), Brighton and Oxford Brookes, all would be pretty lush places to live I guess and they all do what I want.

What else is going on? Ummmmmm back to college on Wednesday yaay, nice to see some fresh, young, unspoilt, first-year faces/fresh meat. Might be getting my tattoo tommorow, second attempt at getting served haha, yes I'm getting a swallow on my fore-arm, should be pretty bad ass.

What else is going on? Oh yeah, I told my mum I took a shit in a bag at Reading - she was pretty impressed to say the least.

What else is going on? I've also started listening to Jimi Hendrix. And prog, yeaaah. And I'm gonna be buying a Telecaster in the next few up-and-coming months. I also really want to quit my job, I hate it but it gives me Dolla$$$$!!!

What else? It's also only just dawned on me (via BBC Reading fest coverage), how incredible Biffy Clyro and QOTSA were when I saw them.


Wow Woodsy, Hendrix, Tattoos, Universities, good god man you've changed.

What else is going on? Not a lot really xxx

Reading Festival

So I got back from Reading monday afternoon and I was pretty dead, but the 4 days prior to that were one of the best experiences of my life, camping with all my friends and seeing some of the best music in the world. Here are some Pros and Cons of the bands that I was lucky enough to see:

Friday:
+ Although their main stage set was 90% new material, Biffy Clyro played one of the best sets of the weekend.
- The Fratellis were plugging their new album which no one had exactly bought, so no one knew most of their set. But Chelsea Dagger was a quality sing-a-long anyway.
+ Queens of the Stone Age were incredible, ambient interludes between songs and No One Knows being one of the anthems of the weekend.
- Rage Against The Machine had some tunes, and Tom Morello and his solos were amazing but I don't go to a gig to hear about politics, and I was surrounded by a bunch of morons/nodding dogs that lapped up everything they said.

Saturday:
- Mystery Jets were great and it's good to know Blaine has recovered - but their set was revolved around their new album and didn't play any old gems. Perhaps because the 1st album was released in like 2005, the 2008 scenesters in the audience weren't aware of it.
+ Foals = amazing as always.
+ Seasick Steve was really good, wasn't out of place on a huge stage.
+ Bloc Party's sound was poor but when we pushed into the middle it was a lot better, the new tracks are awesome and I crowd surfed to Helicopter at the end of the set - turning around and seeing the whole of Reading festival behind you chanting to your favourite song as you float in mid air under house lights is a moment that will stick for a very long time.

Sunday:
+ Adam Green, formerly of The Moldy Peaches, played a hilarious set on the NME/Radio 1 Stage.
- Pendulum were OK but it was Sunday and I was rather lathargic so I couldn't be arsed to jump-the-fuck-around as they say.
+ Tenacious D = amazing.
+ The Cribs headlined the NME stage and were amazing, the best I've seen them play and the fact that Johnny Marr was there made it a whole lot better.

Bands I saw over the whole weekend:
Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly
Taking Back Sunday
Dizzee Rascal
MGMT
The Fratellis
Queens Of the Stone Age
Rage Against The Machine
Mystery Jets
Foals
Seasick Steve
Editors
Bloc Party
The Killers
The Metros
Adam Green
Cajun Dance Party
Lethal Bizzle
The FF'ers (haha)
Pendulum
Tenacious D
The Cribs

xxxxx

Olympic Airways

So I've been in Greece for the past week now and I'm not gonna lie, its beautiful: sea, sun, bars, cuisine, etc. And its been really nice not knowing whats going on in England - apparently you've got shite weather - good luck. I've had the option to read various newspapers but I've refrained because it's been so nice being caught up in the Aegean sun.
In fact I looked at the Daily Mail the other day and Piers Morgan has his own column in it, all the more reason to refrain I guess.

On a lighter note *tone of sarcasm intended*, I was at the bar a few days ago playing chess and the Olympic ceremony came on - I waited for the terrorist attack but it never happened, instead I saw a hundred thousand chinese men in strict formation chanting, screaming and banging drums. Mmmmmm I love the smell of democracy in the morning.

I also got my AS level results earlier, I didn't to too bad but I was quite dissapointed in some subjects, my grades weren't a scratch on what I had at GCSE level - but I guess thats the influence of college and independence.

Anyway, Reading Festival in a week - I'll see you there xxxxx

THE STROKES ARE DEAD

...well, maybe exaggerated a little there. Nikolai Fraiture (The Strokes bassist) has a new solo project coming out, its called Nickel Eye (get it?), its been described as Folk Rock and two new songs have been premiered on the Mark Ronson radio show - I've heared them, and they are very neat.

Also, Fab Morreti (The Strokes drummer) has a new 'side-project' called Little Joy, a joint collaboration with his girlfriend Binki Shapiro - songs should be released in the near future and are reminiscent of the 1960's, wall-of-sound girl groups.

ALSO, Julian Casablancas (The Strokes singer) has collaborated with Santogold and Pharrell Williams on a track about Converse All-stars, yay.

ALSOOO, Albert Hammond Jr.'s new album was released the other week - its very, very good. It's called 'Como Te Llama', it's a lot more mature than his previous album (a lot of songs of which were written when he was a teenager), and features an 8-minute long instrumental (*creams*).

And so this begs the question, will The Strokes ever re-group for a new album? Albert Hammond Jr. has stated that: 'If there isn't any new material out for 2009, people will think we've split up' = well duuuuuuh. And Pharrell Williams has expressed an interest in producing the new album, so even if they do re-group, they'll be dipping their feet into more Alternative sounds, quite un-like the Garage Revival material that I fell in love with.

Anyway, only time will tell.

xxx

2008 Nationwide Mercury Prize

The shortlist was announced today:

- Adele - '19'
- British Sea Power - 'Do You Like Rock Music?'
- Burial - 'Untrue'
- Elbow - 'The Seldom Seen Kid'
- Estelle - 'Shine'
- The Last Shadow Puppets - 'The Age Of The Understatement'
- Laura Marling - 'Alas I Cannot Swim'
- Neon Neon - 'Stainless Style'
- Portico Quartet - 'Knee-Deep In The North Sea'
- Robert Plant And Alison Krauss – 'Raising Sand'
- Radiohead - 'In Rainbows'
- Rachel Unthank And The Winterset – 'The Bairns'

Thats a nice ecletic short-list I guess, Alex Turner has made it a Mercury Prize hat-trick after being nominated for the past 2 years (Arctic Monkeys), and with The Last Shadow Puppets this time. Radiohead have a strong chance of winning, its an excellent album and what they did with the 'pay-what-you-like' strategy will win them extra brownie points. I don't, however, understand why Foals aren't in there, they've brought new genres into a mainstream industry and what they're doing at the moment is wonderful.

xxo

Slow Night, So Long

So I'm seeing Kings of Leon at the o2 arena in December! It should be really really good, something to forget that I've booked, and then realise like a month before the gig that 'OMG I'M SEEING KOL IN A MONTH!'

And so its Summer(-ish) now! I haven't got a lot planned, I'm going to Greece with the family soon and then theres Reading fest with the fam, but apart from that I've got a suprising amount of college work to do over the holidays: History textbooks, Business coursework, and 3 books to read for English Lit.

Having said that I've got 3 books to read, I've taken it upon myself to buy/rent a shed load of books for the next 6 weeks, among them are:
- Clockwork Orange
- If You Liked School, You'll Love Work
- Importance of Being Earnest etc.
- Animal Farm
- And others that I cannot remember.

And although some of them are rather dystopian and un-summery, they are a lot better than what I have to read for college:
- The Remains of the Day, by Kazuo Ishiguro
- And like other books that I've yet to decide to read, we were given a list of 9 books that we have to compare to 'Remains of the Day', but they are all period drama novels set in Edwardian England in manors and huge estates (c. Pride and Prejudice).

Also while I'm writing a lengthy blog - *gets up on high horse* - the Government's new policy to tackle knife crime, the idea of showing knife-carriers stab victims in hospitals is ridiculous: if i had been stuck in hospital after being stabbed, i wouldn't be the happiest of chaps anyway, and so i wouldn't be to bloody impressed if some jobsworth came into my ward escorting some 'hoodie' that 24 hours before was carrying a blade.

*demounts high horse*
*falls asleep*

xx

Wet

wet wet, I had to cycle home in the rain today and I got a puncture and I got wet

Olympics

Don't really agree with the Chinese hosting the Olympics this year, what they are doing in Tibet is stupid - its not cool and its not clever. But I cannot exactly run to Shanghai and be like 'oi twats stop it!', because 1. My asthma will play up because of the polluted air, and 2. Because I don't think EasyJet fly to Beijing!

So instead I'm spiting the local Chinese Take-aways and boycotting their food.

Woodsy 1 - 0 Pancake Rolls

Bloc Party - Mercury

New Bloc Party Song!

Its called 'Mercury' and its very good, you can listen to it here: www.blocparty.com

Its like Flux, but not, string orchestras, brass, electronic, and a lot of drums

I like it

Jay-Zed

Also, the fact that he took the absolute piss out of Oasis at the start of his set at Glasto is amazing

Free Tibet

Today in town me and Ed signed a petition to free Tibet, but I think really we just bought a share in it
Jay-Zed at Glastonberry was amazing, sod all u h8az

However, Kings of Leon and Hot Chip we're better, Amy Winehouse however was pitiful - which is a crying shame.


It's been a good weekend

xxx

I look like I've been punched

Hayfever sucks like a bitch, damn you Benodryl work! My eyes have puffed up so much that I could think up an elaborate story of how 'I got into a fight with a man with a knife, and that although I've got a black eye, he was worse off' - but really I'm just a wetty.

Pros and Cons:
- Hayfever, durrr

+ Had a go at Rock Band the other day, its pretty sweet.

+ New college timetable, I've got loaaads of free periods now; on a Wednesday I literally go in for one lesson at the start of the day and thats it.

+ Rohan's Birthday Party/BBQ on Saturday, sing a longs, booze, catching up with ex-girlfriends, more booze, Blondie, Queen and Nirvana on the stereo, and sleeping in a car.

+ Waking up at 4 in the morning and walking home listening to Radiohead.

- Waking up back at home with the shits.

+ No work

+ Having a quality new Modern History teacher, hes like an Oxford academic and really smart and witty, this year should be FUN

That is all xx

I've only just realised

how much I hate what Indie has become, I was listening to the radio earlier and, I think it might have been One Night Only's new song, the chorus went:

'You and me
We're quality
Thats how it should be
You and me'

I died a little inside. I hate how jocks and cock-rockers just pick up guitars and play a three chord song because they can, it makes them 'cool'. Theres no lyrical content in that chorus, no meaning, no wit, nothing hearfelt, nothing.
Could you imagine if One Night Only were your 'school band'? They would be the popular football/rugby players that whip eachother with towels in the changing rooms and wear white socks instead of black because thats them sticking it to the man. Until one day they walk into Non-Uniform Day in a pair of plimpsoles and skinny jeans and everyone falls at their feet; when at the back of the class the boy with the Ramones shirt and NHS glasses doesn't get a look in.

Indie isn't Independent anymore, its just a marketing cash and Topman and Radio One etc. have jumped on the band wagon/money train.

ANYWAY, my pros and cons of this week can be summed up as:
- hayfever
+ back to college

xxxxxxx

Footy Footy Footy

I don't see the big deal in England not being in the European Championship this year, because instead of the whole country fretting about us doing well we can sit back and watch some world class football. And lets face it, we'd have gone out on penalties in the 1/4 Finals anyway.

p.s. FOO FIGHTERS WERE AMAZING

Eco Eco Eco

I wish I had a twin brother that happened to be an economist, then he could have sat in a hall for three and a half hours and taken my exam. Sod’s law, my brother isn’t an economist and he isn’t my twin. Oh well, no more Economics now, ever. Apart from the guy with weird eyes on Dragons Den that works for the BBC, hes cool.

’Un peu d'air sur la terre’ – I’m also sick of The French Open on the tele, bring on Wimbledon! Strawberrys and Cream and a Robinson High Juice old chap!

I don’t have any college now for like a week, so its happy days really. I’m seeing Foo Fighters on Saturday at Wembley – should be ‘maaaaazing, support is weird though: The Futureheads and Supergrass. No doubt I’ll post an entry about it next week

xxx

Greatest Hits

I love listening to older music thats influenced todays sounds, I believe its called 'experiencing the fruits of a former culture' or something. But 'Greatest Hits' compilations annoy me, a huge aspect of an album is the tracklisting and the way an album flows - but as soon as a money-hungry record label take an artist/bands work, pick the good songs and burn it onto a disc something is lost in the process. 'Greatest Hits' are an excellent way of introducing yourself to a band and it makes them more accessible, but listening to the album that defines them gives you a better idea of what they are like: Sgt. Peppers, OK Computer, Queen Is Dead, etc...

This blog came after I saw the tracklisting of EMI's 'Radiohead - Best Of'. Whats that? Cash-in? Yeaaah

'Bros Before Hoes'

I was discussing this the other day, if everyone believed the Bros Before Hoes ethos, in an end-of-the-world scenario man-kind would be extinct. If say you were the last person in the world, and you had a choice between your girlfriend and your brother to stay with you, 'Bros Before Hoes' would mean you chose your brother over your girlfriend. This would then lead to a lack of pro-creation and man-kind would become exctinct. I honestly wonder what goes on in my brain sometimes.

ANYWAY, pros and cons:

+ I'm 17
- On the day I can finally learn how to drive theres a fuel crisis
+ Foals/Fourtet session on vinyl
- REVISION
+ Started listening to Radiohead again
+ In the process of acquiring a 4-track recorder
- MORE REVISION
- Alex was in France all week
++ Birthday Party
-- Hangover

xx

First exam

Unlike other students, my first exam was today and it went quite well - but the examiners must have been feeling cruel and chose the hardest poem out of Blakes' Songs of Innocence and Experience: The Human Abstract. If your that interested look it up, its terriblly religious and philosophical!

In other news I was messing around on Ed's guitar and amp and found the 'Tom Morello' sound, I may upload a video soon

tara xx

A limmerick of an unfortunate scorer

There once was a young lad from Essex

Who went down the road for a quick fix

He came back crying

His emotions were flying

And said: “I think the ‘E’ stands for Estrogen, I’ve been tricked”

Procrastination

I haven't posted in a while.

PROS AND CONS:
- Hayfever
+ Learning some juicy Kings of Leon licks
+ Study Leave
- Exams
+ BBQ tommorow
+ Good weather all week
- Bad weather today




I can't think of much else - I'll more than likely post something a little more detailed soon xxxxxx

No more wetting my whistle

So I’ve began my (half)pledge to give up alcohol until my birthday (23rd may), lets face it that’s like a fortnight so good effort on my part really.

Withdrawal symptoms include:
Sobriety

I was watching the box earlier on and the new Budweiser advert came on, the one where the men play instruments with bottles of bud, and I thought ‘Wow, alcohol advertisements are amazing’. Lets face it, if the Government were to get rid of booze adverts on our teles, like they did with tobacco ads, then our coffee breaks between episodes of CSI would be full of ‘Injury Lawyers 4 U’ and ‘Loans 4 U’ adverts. Beer adverts are amazing, Peter Kay on John Smiths, the epic black and white Guinness, and of course Budweiser – man I love television/beer.

Owned

My history teacher owned me hard today. I brought up the fact that I'm seeing The Cribs over Metallica at Reading Festival and she got VERY defensive, and in front of the class said that although Metallica were past their best, when they were at their peak they were very good; where as The Cribs are at their peak now and are shite. She then went on to compare the characterstics of Tsar Nicholas II to that of a Cribs fan: weak and incepide.

In other news, me and Ed have been sat around laughing at Brian Blessed on Have I Got News For You and counting the number of times the Tory MP got ripped on it.
xx

Reading Line-up Updates

http://www.readingfestival.co.uk/lineup/index.aspx
The latest line-up is good, I'm looking forward to seeing Mystery Jets again, and ADAM GREEN is going to be there: what a legend. It's a shame Gallows are headlining the Lock Up stage on the Saturday though because I wanted to see them again, but its all about The Killers really.
At the moment I'm addicted to Rage Rage Rage Rage Rage Rage Rage Rage Rage Rage Rage Rage Rage Rage Rage Rage Rage Rage Rage Rage Rage Rage Rage Rage Rage Rage Rage Rage Rage Rage Rage Rage Rage Rage Rage Rage Rage Rage Rage Rage Rage Rage Rage Rage Rage Rage Rage Rage Rage Rage Rage Rage and Justice

You can't fool me, Dennis

Mystery Jets –Railway Inn, Winchester

First thing I loved about this gig was the venue; it’s literally a pub with a beer garden, and a small 200-person music hall next door. The two support acts were both really good, cant really remember the first ones name, but the Golden Silvers were good, a bit like Vampire Weekend on acid – their bassist came running up to us and thrusted their EP into our hands ‘TAKE ONE TAKE ONE’.
The big disappointment of the night were the delays, the Jets were supposed to come on at 10 and finish at 11, but because of sound problems or something they didn’t come on til 11, and because our lift home was at 11.30 we missed a chunk of their set. I’m determined not to blame it on the band, I met Blaine before the gig at the bar and he was really nice and I met William out the back of the venue were he was just strumming away on an acoustic with some of the members of the first support band.
It was a really intimate set, because they came on so late, the small original crowd was even smaller, leaving about 80 people to admire the Eel Pie Island legends; song of the night – ‘Flakes’, just so nice and mellow. Could have done with them playing a few older songs but it was still a good evening.

Mystery Jets played:
'Hideaway'
'Young Love'
'Half In Love With Elizabeth'
'Diamonds In The Dark'
'Flakes'
'Hand Me Down'

but we missed:
'Veiled in Grey'
'The Boy Who Ran Away'
'MJ'
'Two Doors Down'
'Behind the Bunhouse'
'You Can't Fool Me, Dennis'
'Zootime'

Walk, Idiot Walk

Me and Ed went to London on Friday which was a right laugh, waltzed through Leicester/Trafalgar Square, got hounded by a slightly attractive Red Cross volunteer until we told her we were underage, so she had no chance of signing us up, but we had no chance with her neither haha. Caught the tube down to Camden, had a wonder round the market, stumbled across a Banksy piece*, looked in various record stalls, etc. A well known experience in Camden is being asked if you want some ‘skunk’, however none of the locals offered it to me – we then decided that with my current image I look like a dealer myself (charming), this was then proved when the bouncer at the Brixton Academy double frisked me and asked if I had any weed on me. Not Cool. We left Camden after a while because it was busy (Camden Crawl this weekend), and we both got tired of pointing at the most pretentious people we could find.

The Hives were quality live, they don’t have strong songs like other bands, but they are such great performers it made up for it.


*For future reference if you come out of the Camden tube station, walk alllllll the way down Camden High Street and then take a right up a hill, its on the corner.

the karma of piracy

My Dad downloaded me a shed-load of movies the other day – Lock Stock, Snatch, Control, etc. and they all ‘corrupt’ half-way through my viewing, bit of a let down really but that’s what you get when you don’t actually buy them, so I/my parents have delved into my/their pockets. However, when I download music its alright, but after a while my conscience seems to get to me, and I end up attacking HMV with my debit card to wash away the guilt of ‘stealing’ artist's music; of course, because The Kooks are so short of cash I felt terrible having their new album a month before it actually came out.

Anyway, REVISION REVISION REVISION!

p.s. my thumb is red-raw from playing slap bass.

Andrew Lloyd Webber

or whoever commisioned his stupid television show on BBC One needs to be shot. Its just one big ego-boom for him and I find it ridiculous that the BBC are pretty much advertising this intolerable knob-heads stage shows.
On a lighter note, I have a new bass guitar and its really nice - and I'm also wearing reading glasses, which isn't so nice, but I pay it no mind.

List of people that have annoyed me today:

1. People who don't know the rules of 'Shotgun' and apply it to areas other than cars.
2. The Pigeon Detectives
3. The cast of Eastenders
4. Performing Arts students
5. BmXeRs
6. The Sun

congratulations

p.s.

+ Rekindling my love for The Strokes over the past month
xxxxx

Well pointed out

Meg White is also a terrible drummer. It just dawned on me how good the Reading line-up is.
PROS AND CONS:
+ The Exchange gig
- Work
+ Choosing bass guitar
+ Winchester Uni trip
+ JOSH'S 18th!!!
-/+ Picked up glasses
+ THE HIVES IN A FORNIGHT
+ Easter Holidays
- Work overtime
- 5 hours of revision a day
++++++++++ Reading Festival line up!
The Main Stage on the Saturday is epic, and Tenacious D are there!!!!!!!!

life is good man, life is good xx

I h8 Meg Ryan

She could well be the worst drummer in the world, ever. Its as if shes a 9 year old girl that has woken up one Christmas morning, and her parents have bought her a drum kit. So she sits on a seat and starts thrashing away. And whats worse is her cool air of detachment when she does it, just throwing her head back and smiling as she thrashes and crashes those symbols as if she could be anywhere in the world right now. It's diabolical. On the other hand The Raconteurs new album is really good.

Foals Conversation dos

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Woodsy
Date: Mar 22, 2008 1:55 PM

I've just been delivered the album, and I love it - cheers lads xx

..and Tinhead's artwork is da bomb!

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: FOALS
Date: 22 Mar, 2008 22:56

thankYOU
yannis
xx



*in reply to bulletin*

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Woodsy
Date: Mar 23, 2008 9:44 PM

+ your missing out on Indiana, the guys heart came out and everything
+ Youthmovies new album
- missing you @ Astoria

what are the b-sides to Red Socks?Xx

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: FOALS
Date: 23 Mar 2008, 21:46

oh
one is called GOLD GOLD GOLD
and the other is called TITAN ARUM
we're finishing the mixes tomorrow.
they're gonna be bangers.
in a suasage kinda way!
x

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Woodsy
Date: Mar 23, 2008 9:49 PM

well good luck with yo tour round the globe! il try and catch you in hmv in london next week. quick question: what is your favourite song you like to play live?x

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: FOALS
Date: 23 Mar, 2008 21:50

at the mo 'lectric bloom.
but it always changes.
hopefully see you at HMV
x

----------------------------------------------------

see, me and foals are practically married now

Foals Conversation uno

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: woodsy
Date: 13 Nov 2007, 06:15

Whats the B-side for Balloons fam???xx


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: FOALS
Date: 13 Nov 2007, 14:20

yo there are 2
one on the cd which is called BRAZIL IS HERE!
and one on the 7" which is called DEARTH
guuud yah
x


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: woodsy
Date: 13 Nov 2007, 06:27

Sweeeeeeet, you guys looking forward to the Bloc Party gigs at Ally Pally?x


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: FOALS
Date: 13 Nov 2007, 21:28

YESSSSS!!!
though i think we may have a bit of pre-show nerves anyway should be swell!
xx


----------------------------------------------------

see, me and foals, we've bonded!

Opportunity Costs, Supply, Demand, Oasis...

In Economics today we were talking about Britain’s exports and discussed what it is we actually produce, the answer was: not a lot. We obviously produce and export our own food, but we as a nation aren’t known as great producers, we buy a lot of our stuff in from other countries (‘Made In China’) – and so in conclusion we gathered that we export a lot of Rolls Royce engines and a lot of pharmaceutical goods; I then had an epiphany, I turned round and said: ‘but we make bloody good music’. And we do, our nation has created some of the best music in the history of sound – not only that but we’ve exported it around the world; Yes, we the chivalrous, tea-sipping, cockney-rhyming British have had the decency to share it with the rest of the world. Since The Beatles graced the Yankee shores, British music has been the most demanded music worldwide, and by golly we are more than willing to supply it. So Americans, you can keep your oil, Germans you can keep your automobiles, Columbia you can keep your cocai…no, wait…

Budget 2008

The Budget for this year was released yesterday, turns out the tax on alcohol is going up - this money is then being distributed towards preventing child poverty and to keep pensioners warm in the winter. So now when I buy a crate of Carlsberg for the weekend, I’ll get a warm, fuzzy feeling in my belly, not only because I’m drunk, but I’m also helping a good cause.

Alright chaps

Well I haven't posted in about a week, I'd love to say thats because I've been extremely busy...but I haven't.

PROS AND CONZ OF THE LAST 7 DAYSSS
+ Gallows last Friday, immense gig at the best venue in the world, The Astoria
- Getting crushed by swarms of people in 'Orchestra of Wolves' and nearly having an asthma attack
+ Frank's speech about the guy who tried to strangle him
+ Frank then getting into a fight with said guy
+ Costello concert last Saturday, lovely lovely time, Sinister Horizons :| Yearbook :)
- Someone having a cheeky fag in the toilets and setting the fire alarm off
+ Having the closest thing to a riot Basingstoke will ever have
- Work Sunday
- College Monday
- College Tuesday
- College Wednesday
- College Thursday
- Getting an E in my Economics exam
+ Getting a C in my Business exam
- College Friday
+ Going to the pub after College
+ Buying a harmonica and playing it in War Memorial Park while Ed did a spoken-word piece about how religion is wrong over it
+ Curry with the family

R.I.P

I tried to re-tune my ukulele earlier, it was making this awful, droning sound, the sort of noise a thousand cursed souls would make when banished to the realms of hell. Anyway, I left it up in my room and popped downstairs because the kettle had boiled, when I returned to play some crazy Hawaiian, low fidelity riffs and all the strings had split and I found the bridge half-way across the room :( I’m inconsolable.

ERGH

I'm sick to death of people getting the wrong impression about college, it is nothing like Skins. It's not all Sex, Drugs, Rock & Rave. Do not get the wrong impression, you do actually have to learn stuff and there aren't drastic plots involving the twist and turns of teenage hormones. I bloody love college, me. On a lighter note, I'm seeing Gallows on Friday, rock on.

Is Hell endothermic or exothermic? Support you answer with a proof.

First, we postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant. There are two possible conditions. One, if hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate t which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase exponentially until all hell breaks loose. Conversely, if hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, than the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over, condition two.
We can solve this with the 1990 postulation of Theresa LeClair, the girl who lived across the hall from me in first year residence. Since I have still not been successful in obtaining sexual relations with her, condition two above has not been met, and thus it can be concluded that condition one is true, and hell is exothermic.

The Cribsss

The venue, the Oxford Carling Academy, was on a high street so the fat arsed tour buses had to park on the side of the road. The Ting Tings came on first, opening with 'Great DJ', which I'm sure will be played to death on Radio 1 over the next month. They played a good set and got the crowd going, even if they used a sampler for bass and keys for half of their songs – the kids at the front made a bit of a school disco out of it really.
Next on was Does It Offend You, Yeah? Who played for a hectic half an hour, started the first pits of the night and rolled through juicy tunes like 'Lets Make Out' and 'We Are Rockstars' – they were better than when I saw 'em last year and I'd be well up for seeing them again sometime soon.
About half an hour later, Joe Lean and the – lets play the same chord over and over again, but really, really fast – Jing Jang Jong came on and played their instrumental opener 'Tougher Terrible', which was packed with sharp riffs and banging drums, probably their best tune because their front man doesn't actually sing in it. That said, Joe Lean was absolutely wankered, and the Jing Jang Jong did a good job tolerating is stupid dancing and huffing and puffing. 'Lucio Starts Fires' probably got the biggest reaction from the crowd – Indies wanting to be Joe Lean, and the Cindys wanting to be in him.
At this point I was absolutely buzzing with excitement, I turned round and found myself stood a few metres away from crazy, crazy Kate Nash, she came into the crowd to watch her BF play but got hounded by her adoring fans so departed backstage. The Cribs finally took to the stage, signalling cheers with their pints and ripped into 'Don't You Want To Be Relevant?' closely followed by 'Our Bovine Public'. Ryan then told a story of how the last time they came to play in Oxford he managed to scar himself, then carried on playing consecutive crowd favourites like 'Mirror Kissers' and 'Men's Needs'; after 'The Wrong Way To Be' he jumped into the crowd, I knew he would do it so I was prepared, this didn't stop him landing right on top of me. After chaotic outro to the same tune, red lights flashed on the stage and Gary introduced the legend Johnny Marr onto the stage and did a quality rendition of The Smiths classic 'Panic', he then helped them out on 'Moving Pictures' and 'I'm A Realist', the later of which I crowd-surfed to - which was bloody epic coz it was like 'AND YOU DREAM THAT'S THE SAME THING, THAT'S THE SAME LIFE YOU LEAD!!!!!!!!! OMG IM CROWD SURFING, SHIT BETTER HOLD MY PHONE, OMG JOHNNY MARR WTF ITS DA CRIBS WOAAAAAAAH STROBE LIGHTS!'…yeah. And then they played 'Be Safe', a projected video of Lee Ranaldo from Sonic Youth came up and he spoke his spoken-word piece of the tune – an epic ending to an epic set.
P.S Merry Christmas Josh
P.P.S The Cribs are better than The Pigeons

The Cribs played:

Don't You Wanna Be Relevant
Our Bovine Public
Hey Scenesters
Baby Don't Sweat
Girls Like Mystery
I've Tried Everything
Mirror Kissers
Woman's Needs
We Can No Longer Cheat You
Another Number
Men's Needs
Ancient History
The Wrong Way To Be
Panic w/ Johnny Marr
Moving Pictures w/ Johnny Marr
I'm A Realist w/ Johnny Marr

Be Safe w/ Johnny Marr & Lee Ranaldo

Lightning doesn't strike twice

But gigs in London do! Justice last night was bloody epic, immense set with like the huge glowing cross and everything; D.A.N.C.E, DVNO, Genesis, Phantom, etc. Superrrrb - best of all was when they did a mash up of We Are Your Friends and Atlantis to Interzone by Klaxxxons! I met one of the chaps from The Teenagers again and I also had a little shindig with one of the lads from Late of the Pier who were also supporting, they were also top draw, definitely see them live again.

Plans for Sunday;;;
- Work 9-4
- Drive up to Oxford w/Josh and Greg
- Go and see The Cribs, Joe Lean and the Jing Jang Jong, Does It Offend You, Yeah? and The Ting Tings @ Oxford Carling Academy
- Crash round Josh's brothers house in Oxford
Sorted xxxxxxxx

Up The Shambles!

Babyshambles @ Brixton Academy - 11th February 08

The Courteeners played an absolute blinding set as support, Acrylic and Cavorting went down an absolute treat with the crowed.

We were surrounded by a load of mods and skinheads, very 'Facking West Ham!', and 'Facking Cup o' Tea!. Still, we all sung a rendition of Time For Heroes and Up The Bracket for a laugh. Shambles finally came on about 40 minutes after The Courteeners, and played 'Up The Morning' followed by 'Delivery', people were being crushed in the crowd so security told Pete to tell us that we had to calm down or they'd have to leave - we didn't need telling twice. They played a shed load of songs from both albums and The Blinding EP, their encore was immense, in Albion, Pete named-checked the Hawley Arms in Camden and ended up throwing the mic into the crowd so everyone could rep their ends. Drew was immense on bass and Pete was sober, which was a huge suprise for me, after reading reviews and interviews of him for ages about him being a junkie and slurring, etc. I got a total different perception of him.
Babyshambles played:
'Carry On Up The Morning'
'Delivery'
'Beg, Steal Or Borrow'
'Baddie's Boogie'
'UnStookie Titled'
'Side Of The Road'
'UnBilotitled'
'The Blinding'
'You Talk'
'There She Goes'
'Sedative'
'Pipedown'
'I Wish'
'Back From The Dead'

'Killamangiro'
'Albion'
'Pretty Sue'
'Fuck Forever'

QUIET HRTBEATS

i forget how good Foals are sometimes, here is when i saw them @@@ underage festival - good times had by all, pros and cons of this week:
+ curry friday night, got served for the first time ever.
- being pulled over by the meat wagon and the boys in blue.
+ being let go after explaining i want to be a policeman when im older.
+ lying to a policeman
- coursework deadlines
+ downloaded sweeney todd
- didn't like sweeney todd
+ totally excited about babyshambles, justice and foals.
+ half term round the corner

xxxx

The perks of Friday evenings

Waking up the next morning and realising you don't have work, rolling around on a bedroom floor looking for your phone - struggling to put your shoes on by the doorstep, smelling your Fred Perry garments and the pungent fragrance of smoke, curry and booze hitting your sinuses like a hammer. Staggering down Long Cross Lane with the crisp morning air dampening your headache as melodic tunes play through the headphones hanging over your collar, Mr. Turner whispering words in your ear, making you smile as the morning joggers run past. Absolute bliss.

Recommendation of the week!

Vampire Weekend, they are like The Strokes mixed with some crazy African Drums and its nice and relaxing and has funny lyrics about Oxford Uni

http://www.myspace.com/vampireweekend

xx

Drugs Drugs Drugs

Drugs Drugs Drugs, College talks about drugs, drugs drugs drugs, don't do this, don't do that. We get it. But that's not going to stop people.
I'm going to give up Subways for lent, because, to me, Sub of the Day is a drug to me
xxxx

Also

What is all this about 3 American headliners at Reading this year? We need a Brit band on that stage damnit. It's obviously not going to be Arctic Monkeys now, but even so I think a Mr. Melvyn Benn is bluffing: Kasabian, Foo Fighters and Rage, thats what I reckon! w/Babyshambles, Queens of the Stone Age, Dirty Pretty Things and Biffy up on the main stage somewhere aswell.
I'm also contemplating buying a Ukulele, just for the novelty of learning fun covers of stuffff

Pinch, Punch, First Day of the Month!

And thank god for that, February is going to be immense - 4 different gigs to go to: Babyshambles, Justice, The Cribs and Gallows.
I'm sick to death of tabloid newspapers, I don't care about celebrities and no-one else should. God Bless The Independent
xx

I live for the weekends

Ed's party on Saturday should be a laugh, I feel kind of guilty for fuelling his addiction and buying him filters, Rizzlas and Golden Virginia for his birthday but hey, he was happy.

I'm also ridiculously addicted to Guitar Hero 3, so much better than the first one. Never played it drunk... theres something to do on Saturday.

xx

...

...the same pissy curry thats given me stomach cramps this morning :(

Wow

Me and Dean have established a few things this evening:

1. Carling tastes like piss

2. ASDA Curry tastes like piss

3. Relentless is sweet

4. Ricky Gervais is a legend (M.E.)

5. Guitar Hero III is still amazing

6. Napoleon Dynamite is repetitive

xx

Slave to the Corporation

Working at ASDA is thee most depressing thing ever. I realised this evening that I really dislike it, I mean, people use the word 'hate' frivolously, but I would go as far to say that it I do.
I've got a mashing headache that no Paracetemol can halt, in the words of Richard Ashcroft: 'The Drugs Dont Work'. I've also got an AS Economics exam tommorow morning so wish me luck world. Xxx

January

I h8 January. Shite weather, shite exams, shite coursework, shite resolutions, shite 'whole new year' - I'm drifting into melancholy. The only shining beacon of hope is the fact that payday is round the corner. I've also re-kindled my love for the Arctic Monkeys in the vain hope that they will be at Reading Festival this year
xx

New things

As with most new fads it takes me time to realise I need to 'get with the times', hence my new blog! FYI I have no intention of starting a campaign to teach people how to read - the title is from Biffy Clyro's album 'The Vertigo of Bliss', so first recommendation: go buy it, it is good.